Is it Saturday? Who knows.

Unemployment check update: oh right, no update. I still haven't received a check. Someone, please get on that.

I've developed a strange new "habit" that I truly wish to get away from. I'm not sure if it's possible - give me tips if you have them! When I'm laying in bed trying to go to sleep I, like most nights of my life, spend several minutes recapping the day in my head, thinking about all the things I need to do the next day (i.e. bitch about my current situation, sleep really late, watch a LOT of TV, etc), or any other random thoughts, something strange happens in my mind; I text ALL of my thoughts. I think at the same speed I text, and I actually visualize texting each thought. I don't actually move my hands, or get out my cell phone, but it seems as though I can feel the texting process. This has only been happening for about 4 or 5 days, but it happens each night without fail. The only thing I can compare this to is an experience my dad told my mom and I about when I was in the 8th grade. I got a computer for Christmas that year, and it was really the first time that my dad spent much time on a computer. When he would dream, for about a month after we got the computer, he could only make his dreams progress if he "clicked" on the subjects in the dream (our old dog Patches, for instance) with a mouse. Now, I assume this was because of a new task he was learning. But in my case, I can't explain it. You all know that I text a million times a day. Actually, I just checked my verizon bill and I sent/received 5,367 texts for my May billing cycle. That's an average of 173 texts per day. So clearly, this is not a new task for me. SO WHY MUST I TEXT ALL OF MY THOUGHTS BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP?!!??!

I’m attributing this horrible new habit to anxiety. I’m feeling more of those feelingsanxious than I’ve ever felt. I don’t remember ever having a problem with anxiety. I’m pretty easy going (I think?), even in tough times. Granted, I’ve never had tough times like these before. All I can think about are uncertainties. I truly don’t know very many things about my immediate future – where will I work in 6 months? Where will I live in 6 months? What kind of new people will I meet? Yesterday, while thinking about several things that I should hear about in a few days that will drastically change my life, my heart was pounding and I felt like I needed to puke. I texted(of course) good ol’ Selena and she gave me REALLY great advice. “well puke if you must, but I think the universe will unfold these things with or without your getting sick”. Then I showed my first smile of the day and tried to breathe deep. Shortly after, I had class. I can’t tell you how comforting it is to sit through a 3.5 hour class, enjoy it, and feel TRULY certain that despite the horrible things that have happened in my short career, I’m doing exactly what I should be. I’m passionate about Higher Education, and I will continue to be dedicated to the field which has justly developed me into the person that I am. I haven’t felt anxious or sick since 15 minutes after I walked into that classroom.

If any of you are feeling unsure about your current situation – job, town, etc. – you might go to www.findyourspot.com and take this fun little quiz I like to pass along to everyone. I used it in my classes, I use it for myself. The quiz asks you 8 pages worth of questions about your preferred living situation – would you like to be close to colleges? Golf courses? Live music? Cold weather? Hot weather? (you’re crazy, if so!!) Do you want to live in the country? City? Mountains? Beach? Are you a democrat? Do you have a preferred church? Do you need to have an airport close by? And on and on. It’s really cool. Certainly your results will change depending on your mood. For example, I took it before this crazy winter, and then during the midst of it. My results changed slightly. So be mindful of those changes, but take the quiz, for crying out loud. If you have time to read this blog, you have time to take the quiz (even if you’re at work!).

I need to do the following things. If you have any insight on how I can do them cheaper than usual, or free even, please let me know!
· Car inspection
· Oil Change
· Rabies shot for Chaco
· Lots of other shots for Chaco
· Renew my passport (for my cruise that I’ve already paid in full… don’t worry!)
· Put gas in my car (a high school boyfriend told me once that he planned to take gas from my car after I broke up with him – I’m willing to try this)

Hope you’ve enjoyed the read. Maybe I’ll watch something really exciting on TV and catch you up on that soon.