It's official. Today's the day that I assume you're all interested enough about this process that you'll want to read a blog by me. I could update my facebook status 27 times a day, and perhaps you'd get the same idea - but these days I feel like I have enough to say to make a blog worth it.
In early May, my position as Director of Campus Life was cut due to budget at Lees-McRae College. Those of you in Higher Education know just how crazy this is. Within the 1st month of working at the college, my then boss, Allison, told me that the college was screwed if I ever got a life since I spent so much time and energy on my job. Well, I never got a life. So I got screwed. When I lost my job, it felt like I lost everything. Honestly, I don't know when it will stop feeling that way. I gave my all to my job. Truly, I probably gave more than anyone should. When I didn't come to work until 10am, I felt guilty - even if I was at work until 2am the night before. I always reminded myself that when you commit your life to Student Development, you should prepare yourself for that. Now I wish I had reminded myself to make time for everything else - including developing new hobbies, a vibrant social life, etc. Sometimes I feel like working in Student Development is like a really unhealthy relationship - one where you only spend time with your significant other and forget that you have other friends - then when you break up you're alone.
Losing my job is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I never imagined that by 28 I would have such a huge professional upset, but I'm living it everyday. I always told myself that things like this only happened to people who weren't good at their jobs - good employees were saved from this. It's just not true. I'm the kind of employee that schools want. I'm fun to work with, I truly care about the students I work with, I'm knowledgeable, I'm passionate, and I'm dedicated. Somehow, even though I know these things about myself, it's tough to stay self-confident. It's hard to drag myself out of bed every morning knowing that the hard work I did can be done without.
On one hand I can see how people become dependant on alcohol when they lose their jobs. On the other, I don't know how anyone can afford it. I can't even afford toilet paper, toothpaste, shampoo and soap. I'm serious folks - it's about to get really sad. I'm waiting on an unemployment check, but there's an "unusual" communication break down preventing that.
The good news; I'm a full time student for the summer. I'll be done with my Education Specialist degree in Higher Education Administration in December (should make me marketable, yes?). I've had one interview so far, and I'm in the process of applying for several jobs, one of which could be the coolest opportunity of my life. I'll certainly keep you updated.
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