Is it Saturday? Who knows.

Unemployment check update: oh right, no update. I still haven't received a check. Someone, please get on that.

I've developed a strange new "habit" that I truly wish to get away from. I'm not sure if it's possible - give me tips if you have them! When I'm laying in bed trying to go to sleep I, like most nights of my life, spend several minutes recapping the day in my head, thinking about all the things I need to do the next day (i.e. bitch about my current situation, sleep really late, watch a LOT of TV, etc), or any other random thoughts, something strange happens in my mind; I text ALL of my thoughts. I think at the same speed I text, and I actually visualize texting each thought. I don't actually move my hands, or get out my cell phone, but it seems as though I can feel the texting process. This has only been happening for about 4 or 5 days, but it happens each night without fail. The only thing I can compare this to is an experience my dad told my mom and I about when I was in the 8th grade. I got a computer for Christmas that year, and it was really the first time that my dad spent much time on a computer. When he would dream, for about a month after we got the computer, he could only make his dreams progress if he "clicked" on the subjects in the dream (our old dog Patches, for instance) with a mouse. Now, I assume this was because of a new task he was learning. But in my case, I can't explain it. You all know that I text a million times a day. Actually, I just checked my verizon bill and I sent/received 5,367 texts for my May billing cycle. That's an average of 173 texts per day. So clearly, this is not a new task for me. SO WHY MUST I TEXT ALL OF MY THOUGHTS BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP?!!??!

I’m attributing this horrible new habit to anxiety. I’m feeling more of those feelingsanxious than I’ve ever felt. I don’t remember ever having a problem with anxiety. I’m pretty easy going (I think?), even in tough times. Granted, I’ve never had tough times like these before. All I can think about are uncertainties. I truly don’t know very many things about my immediate future – where will I work in 6 months? Where will I live in 6 months? What kind of new people will I meet? Yesterday, while thinking about several things that I should hear about in a few days that will drastically change my life, my heart was pounding and I felt like I needed to puke. I texted(of course) good ol’ Selena and she gave me REALLY great advice. “well puke if you must, but I think the universe will unfold these things with or without your getting sick”. Then I showed my first smile of the day and tried to breathe deep. Shortly after, I had class. I can’t tell you how comforting it is to sit through a 3.5 hour class, enjoy it, and feel TRULY certain that despite the horrible things that have happened in my short career, I’m doing exactly what I should be. I’m passionate about Higher Education, and I will continue to be dedicated to the field which has justly developed me into the person that I am. I haven’t felt anxious or sick since 15 minutes after I walked into that classroom.

If any of you are feeling unsure about your current situation – job, town, etc. – you might go to www.findyourspot.com and take this fun little quiz I like to pass along to everyone. I used it in my classes, I use it for myself. The quiz asks you 8 pages worth of questions about your preferred living situation – would you like to be close to colleges? Golf courses? Live music? Cold weather? Hot weather? (you’re crazy, if so!!) Do you want to live in the country? City? Mountains? Beach? Are you a democrat? Do you have a preferred church? Do you need to have an airport close by? And on and on. It’s really cool. Certainly your results will change depending on your mood. For example, I took it before this crazy winter, and then during the midst of it. My results changed slightly. So be mindful of those changes, but take the quiz, for crying out loud. If you have time to read this blog, you have time to take the quiz (even if you’re at work!).

I need to do the following things. If you have any insight on how I can do them cheaper than usual, or free even, please let me know!
· Car inspection
· Oil Change
· Rabies shot for Chaco
· Lots of other shots for Chaco
· Renew my passport (for my cruise that I’ve already paid in full… don’t worry!)
· Put gas in my car (a high school boyfriend told me once that he planned to take gas from my car after I broke up with him – I’m willing to try this)

Hope you’ve enjoyed the read. Maybe I’ll watch something really exciting on TV and catch you up on that soon.

I found $10 - What more could I ask for?

June 17th's Unemployment Highlights
1- I slept until 10:30 am
2- I packed sandwiches for lunch and Chaco and I met Selena and Finn at the park
3- The "unemployment fairy" showered me with essential gifts [toilet paper, toothpaste, shampoo, soap, razors, laundry detergent, deodorant - things that benefit the fairy as much as they benefit me!]
4- Meredith stopped by just to make sure I'm ok
5- I cleaned out my car and found $10

Part of the trauma of losing my job comes in the form of having to move because I can't afford my condo anymore. I'm moving to the other side of Banner Elk which will lengthen my commute to class, as well as increase my gas costs! The great news, though, is that I'll be close to Selena and Christina, and that my sweet dog will get to run around in the Christmas tree farm in front of my "cabbage cellar", The Roost . Since I move in 2 weeks, I'm going to pack up a few things in my kitchen. The kitchen is the easy part, so I should save it until the end. But I'm a sucker for progress when moving, so I'll need this little boost as motivation.


I'm looking for jobs these days, you know. So if you hear of anything in the following areas, give me a shout! Residence Life, Campus Life, Career Development, or Alumni Affairs (at ASU of course!).

K, I'm off to write my personal philosophy on Student Development, Student Leadership, Diversity and Social Justice. Gotta love a job listing that requires that!!!!! Does anyone have a connection in Boulder?!

Glorified Facebook Status Update

It's official. Today's the day that I assume you're all interested enough about this process that you'll want to read a blog by me. I could update my facebook status 27 times a day, and perhaps you'd get the same idea - but these days I feel like I have enough to say to make a blog worth it.



In early May, my position as Director of Campus Life was cut due to budget at Lees-McRae College. Those of you in Higher Education know just how crazy this is. Within the 1st month of working at the college, my then boss, Allison, told me that the college was screwed if I ever got a life since I spent so much time and energy on my job. Well, I never got a life. So I got screwed. When I lost my job, it felt like I lost everything. Honestly, I don't know when it will stop feeling that way. I gave my all to my job. Truly, I probably gave more than anyone should. When I didn't come to work until 10am, I felt guilty - even if I was at work until 2am the night before. I always reminded myself that when you commit your life to Student Development, you should prepare yourself for that. Now I wish I had reminded myself to make time for everything else - including developing new hobbies, a vibrant social life, etc. Sometimes I feel like working in Student Development is like a really unhealthy relationship - one where you only spend time with your significant other and forget that you have other friends - then when you break up you're alone.



Losing my job is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I never imagined that by 28 I would have such a huge professional upset, but I'm living it everyday. I always told myself that things like this only happened to people who weren't good at their jobs - good employees were saved from this. It's just not true. I'm the kind of employee that schools want. I'm fun to work with, I truly care about the students I work with, I'm knowledgeable, I'm passionate, and I'm dedicated. Somehow, even though I know these things about myself, it's tough to stay self-confident. It's hard to drag myself out of bed every morning knowing that the hard work I did can be done without.



On one hand I can see how people become dependant on alcohol when they lose their jobs. On the other, I don't know how anyone can afford it. I can't even afford toilet paper, toothpaste, shampoo and soap. I'm serious folks - it's about to get really sad. I'm waiting on an unemployment check, but there's an "unusual" communication break down preventing that.



The good news; I'm a full time student for the summer. I'll be done with my Education Specialist degree in Higher Education Administration in December (should make me marketable, yes?). I've had one interview so far, and I'm in the process of applying for several jobs, one of which could be the coolest opportunity of my life. I'll certainly keep you updated.